Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That accounts for only three of the penises
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize