i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
