my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Congratulations! We have a period
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
