I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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