he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
