do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
In America we eat man semen.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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