You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
