I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
