You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
