Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
