is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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