Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
