I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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