But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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