Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
