Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
