Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
