oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize