Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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