found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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