dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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