Nicole vs. Life
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
