OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
