shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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