"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
