So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
