I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
