May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
