his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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