erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
