Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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