when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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