I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
