can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
