I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
