Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
