Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize