I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
