I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
third nipple confirmed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Drake has all the answers
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
