The best revenge is premature balding
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
