What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
