My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
