I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
