careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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