Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
