they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
