i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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