No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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