Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
