how can u be prego again
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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