I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
