so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I supernannyed him into submission
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
