i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we're chasing vodka with high fives
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
