I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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