I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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