your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
