physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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