and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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