Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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