I'm lost and stupid without you.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
