sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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