WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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