you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
