She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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