Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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