Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
