he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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