Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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