Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
